Where to from here..

I'm not sure how to start this.. 

There has been times where I've broken down 

and was not able to come up again

It's been hard.. lately. I don't know why or how I became at a state like this

Emotional? Over thinking too much? 

The feeling of being loved or appreciated doesn't define with me at this moment, as if my existence is a hindrance to people's lives where I'm only summoned when they need of my assistance 

Like I'm an object. Just justified to people's commands with no human needs

I don't know what to do right now

Don't get me wrong. I've very much figured out my life by this point, trying to live it to the fullest and grow as an individual exceeding over my limits and reaching for my goals and aspirations for the future

I feel as though I've lost a lot of people in my life because of my stupid 'mistakes"

Wanting things for the better. And it was for the better. It wasn't safe

Because of my naiive personality and limited knowledge of the circumstance, I suffered through it. Thinking it would get better, one day

It never did

I guess I just want some sort of comment. recognition. acknowledgement that I am human and I have flaws

I'm not ashamed of my past. I have guilt over it, yes but it's what made me who I am to this day

I will never forget it. But I will forgive.. and it will just be another memory to me

No emotions attached. No feelings revealed

Just another piece of experience at the back of my brain

So.. I'm asking myself 

Where to from here

Sharna 

Monday, 25th May 2015 - 1:45 a.m