This time I will be listening

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong

That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me

This is what I need please

Will you sing us a song

And we'll sing it back to you

We could sing our own

But what would it be without you

I am nothing now

And its been so long

Since I've heard a sound

The sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening

Will you sing us a song

And we'll sing it back to you

We could sing our own

But what would it be without you

This heart, it beats

Beats for only you

My heart is yours

You are all that I need.

Please remove all distractions away from me.

I want to know only you.

My heart is yours. 

Kiss me like you want to be loved

Things I want to work on (2018)

Work on being a better self, feeling and knowing I am good enough.

Put my identity on the Lord. I am a child of God. I will put my identity on him. 

Wherever I go, whoever I will be with.. God is there with me every step of the way.

Cry if you need to. Be sad if you want to. But know that HE has you in his hands.

And HE is guiding you to where HE wants you to go. 

Because HE loves you.

HE loves you.

Not anyone else. 

Your Father in Heaven. 

You are HIS creation.

And you will build your identity in HIM.

Adulting

2:00am

"I feel stuck"

Life does move on and people do move on, and if you feel like you're stuck, then its about a matter of perspective as well. 

Because you too are moving on, and growing, but just not in a way that you might have thought. You're growing in your survival, your ability to live in a new culture.. and I remember the huge amounts of sharing you wrote to me about the life lessons you've learnt from the villagers.

And I thought that was so impressive because even though you're in a difficult situation you're still constantly learning and maturing. Because what you're experiencing now and the hardships of being rock bottom is itself so formative to your maturity as a person that you just can't get any other way..

You never succeed in your mentality or positive mindset unless you've had some hardships and struggles and hit rock bottom and have fought your way back to survive and love others with perseverance. This idea that you're not "adulting" because you're not "growing up" as a Sydney based middle class person with rent/house/stability is really silly. 

People like you who are slumming it, learning to survive, cry and use their tears to make themselves stronger, and finding beauty in simple love and care have 10 times the character and fortitude than any of that. So to me.. I really admire what you're going through and you're really really brave. 

You may feel you're stuck because everyone else has moved on, but ask yourself the questions, where have they "moved on" to? Greater purpose in life? Greater meaning? Greater success? Those things are all achieved in the hearts attitude no matter what circumstances you're in.

Everyone has different life stages and challenges, and just because she/he is at that age doesn't mean she/he is going to be happy or successful.

Discontent + Progress = Success and Happiness 

Every persons' character and maturity is different. 

If you don't ever move or take risks in the world because of fear then you'll never move at all because there'll always be something to fear and be paralysed by. But at the same time you also have a mind, you also have discernment and wisdom so you can make good choices in life and reduce the changes of bad choices or unhealthy outcomes. 

I personally think Success is fulfilling the vision of God in your life for the good of others, and is independent from life's comforts and circumstances. If you have a compelling vision of why you feel God has put you here in this world and you persevere in reaching it, then it doesn't matter whether you live in the slums or not, because you know you're fulfilling your purpose, and not other peoples expectations. 

The complexity of the mind

Men Vs Women

So.. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about how different men and women think.

• Emotional Connection

Men: When men open up, they bond romantically with the person they open up with.

Women: When women open up, it's just bonding as friends.

• Multitasking 

Men: A man's mind is like a calculator. It can do complex maths as much as any, but it can only do one equation at one time.

Women: A woman's mind is a computer. It does the same complex calculations, but can do multiple at one time. It has multiple tabs open.

• Listening

Men: Men struggle to listen because their mind is always on a particular goal "I have to something to fix". Why? Because they were made to do one thing at a time. To focus all their energy on one thing. 

Thats why when you get a man to listen to you.. he's already going to think "I need to find the problem in this story and I need to fix it".

It's one track... "Problem --> Solution".

Women: It's all about the story, expressing emotions and experience.

So when females hold an emotional feeling towards their boyfriend.. like "I'm fine" when we're not. Most of the time, all the men hear is "I'm fine". It takes effort for the men to actually go "Wait.. she said it weirdly" but they still don't even know why/what? 

And you know us girls, we never say why. So they go crazy.

We stay mad. They get frustrated.

Haha strange how men and women communicate. 

But here's the best part. 

We hold it in, and be passive aggressive. Or grumpy with him (internally).

Like oh.. i'm not going to reply to him straight away. I'll take 5mins to respond because I'm mad.

In all honestly. Why do we do that? It's not like they're just waiting for us to answer (and 5mins isn't that long either).. they're probably doing their work or socialising with their friends. 

And when we, girls come back a week later and explain to the guys. They've already forgotten!! 

(Hoping to add to this list later.. I have no idea why this fascinates me)

Oh, also I'll add this here so I don't forget. For future inside jokes :)

No chicks, no tricks!

No dudes, no problems! 

Happier

8th Nov, 2017 

Have you ever heard of the term "settling for less"? What are your thoughts with it?

Settling for less is the wrong term I believe. 

I feel that settling for adequate or simplicity suits better. 

Settling for less isn't the weak way out.

I believe its the more generous and humble route to life.

As opposed, settling for more shows also a positive and generous route in the way that, if there's more to earn there's more to give. 

Same as settling for less, the less you settle more, the more quality you can produce.

Settling for less is kind of the good life.

It's realising that you take what you need and give back with all you have.

I would rather have 3 friends that I see every day than have 3 million friends that come up once a blue moon.

I stay happy because I look towards the future where I can meet and grow with lovely people.

Friends.. I miss you.

Cera
Claire
Olivia
Claudine
Georgia
Juliet
Joanna
Esther
Ayesha
Grace
Jody
Isabel
Hanna
Dom
Danny
Kenneth
Andrew
Ben
Steven
Francis
Bryan
Daniel
Paul
Mk
Vedro


Pray that you've been doing well. And that God has been blessing you.

If I don't get a chance to see you.

I promise I wont take it personal.

But I know I was happier with you.

Thank you for the amazing memories we were able to share together.

I won't ever forget them.




I hope that one day our paths may cross again.

Till then,

Keep smiling :)

Dear friends, this is my story.

Hi, My name’s Sharna! I am a 21 year old female with a passion for storytelling, love and education.

It never occurred to me that the next few years after high school, became a pivotal point in my life where God directed me in his path and called me to pursue a life in education and media.

However, it wouldn't be true of me if I told you that it was easy from the beginning. In fact, it was the hardest decision I had to make to stay grounded in my faith and actively turn towards my heavenly father (there were a lot of hiccups) when everyday was like a battlefield being pushed around with physical and verbal assaults, in a stereotypically male dominated industry working your way up from the bottom. But against all odds, I endured. And most importantly I lived and learned.  

For over 4 years, it’s been such a privilege to work alongside some of the most respected leaders and organisations. Most notably, worked on titles with the Hon. Michael Kirby, Sydney Peace Foundation, The A21 Campaign, Christ College and co-directing a television commercial airing on Foxtel in Australia and New Zealand.

It was through him, that one day a train ride from work became an unexpected blessing :)

2016 was a year that crafted and shaped Carbon Lily as it is today, where my direction shifted out of cinematography and creating films became a distant memory. Instead I was guided to focus on ‘educating and crafting stories’; to study a new career path in teaching primary school students to be the next storytellers of our generation and created a video production business (Carbon Lily) that allowed me to hear, tell and with our help share your stories. We want to showcase the beauty in every story (that’s our motto!). Knowing there are so many stories untold there including the unglamorous ones, which is why I’m starting with mine.  

A little background about my current status:

My family (mum, dad) and I moved to Australia back in 2000 and ever since then we haven't looked back. That’s 17 years. There were many challenges along the way, both financially and emotionally. Many years we’ve struggled on our feet, trying to pay for school fees/visas for my parents to provide me a new life in Australia. It took us days what turned into months then years where we weren’t able to provide food on the table, and at nights we slept in our loaned car next to local parks. But we persisted. And somehow God always provided. But the fight isn’t over yet.

You can read more about it here: https://www.gofundme.com/help-sharna-continue-her-stay

Carbon Lily is a project born out of our desire to create. From the very beginning, we were brought together by our love of film and storytelling. It was only since March last year, that Dom and I met on the train as strangers (he asked “Are you a photographer? Oh! I create videos too! We should make videos together!”). I love how God leads you to the right people in the right kind of places. And for us, this was where our creativity ensparked a new journey.

These past few years has been an incredible journey, where God has opened up many doors in my life and taught me about learning to love with open arms, both in and out of the workplace that led me to cherish lifelong memories. I am truly grateful to have friends and envisioners along for the journey. Allowing us to use our gifts to serve others, and work alongside such an amazing community of like-minded individuals who strive to put God in the centre of our relationships, and show it through our actions of what it means to be loved by him. Because we truly are.  

When you ask yourself..  Why is it so hard to be strong? Why is it so hard to keep faith?

Just remember this verse from 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

‘For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’.

I hope this encourages everyone to keep fighting, and keep loving life, just as it has been given to us.

I’m really excited to see what God has planned for us, and want to thank everyone for allowing us to unfold the pages one by one with you to our story.

Dear friends, let us know how we can help capture your story :)

Warmest,

Sharna

Carbon Lily: Sydney’s Video Creatives!

www.carbonlily.com

This life I live is not my own

21st June, 2017 (6:00am)

Last night was.. hard. 

The overwhelming sense of vulnerability crowded at my thoughts and emotions past midnight.

I could feel the disappointment and loss by the people I loved and looked up to.

As if they had simply lost someone they really cherished closely to their hearts.

Like the nations little sister, an innocent girl who they had to say goodbye too soon. And part ways.

And I felt scared. I felt like I had not lived up to their expectations. I felt like I wasn't strong enough. 

Last night was.. a blessing.

The past few days have taught me a lot.

About friendships.

Its never easy saying goodbye to the people you love. 

I think thats why I always say see you soon.

Because in my heart I know. I will. 

In the memories that we created. And the moments we shared.

It'll be with me always. I won't ever forget. 

Because you mattered to me. 

You let me be there for you when you didn't need anyone to care. 

You let me into your life when you had all the people you needed. 

You made me feel loved. You made me strong. And you made me into me. 

I couldn't help but cry. I know we'll be ok. Even if it is hard right now. 

No matter how difficult it is right now, you just want to be there for them.

Its no longer about yourself anymore. Because you realise, loving someone is far more greater and beautiful than feeling loved yourself.  

But love is made up of actions. Not words. Its like a blinded devotion. 

So I will choose to love you. Not because you want me to.

But because I want to, even if you cant back.  

Love you with friendship, laughter, tears of joy, encouragements, affirmation, and care. 

Thank you for everything. We went through so much together. I couldn'tve done it without you. 

Grateful to have played a small part in their lives, even if it made them feel comforted and smile for a bit.

Last night was.. a lesson.

To refresh my perspective on life. In order to focus on the big picture.

Here is my advice to you:

You only have one life to live, and thats it.

We can either panic and live in fear of uncertainty.

Or we can live boldly knowing that we're in God's hands, and stick to our commitments and values without fearing what others may think of us.

I honestly don't know what the future holds.

And I can see the world is changing before us.

All I know is that I don't want to go back.

Not backwards. But forwards.



Never in my dreams would I have thought to share my story public to thousands of people.

But if it meant having a voice.

I hope this encourages everyone to keep fighting, and keep loving life, just as it has been given to us.

Read this in the future Sharna (A letter to myself in 2017)

13th June, 2017 (7:45 am)


Hi Sharna. I'm writing this to you in 2017.

It's actually a day before your first year semester 1 exams.

And you're not feeling very well. The doctor said you needed to rest up.


It's been really hard the past few months. Not just emotionally, but financially and physically.

You started distancing yourself away from people again. I wished you didn't do that..

Your friends and family miss you. Please don't drift away.


When you ask yourself..

Why is it so hard to be strong?

Why is it so hard to keep faith?


Just remember this verse from 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

'For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal' 

Incase you don't feel like yourself sometimes. This is just a reminder of who you are:

- Resilient
- Teachable
- Inspirational
- A blessing
- Passionate
- Beautiful
- Humble

And you didn't make this up. Thats how friends think of you.

Don't ever forget who you are Sharna, ok? People love you. God loves you.

Even though you may not feel it at times.

You are loved.

What is love? How do we achieve it?

13th March, 2017 (10:15pm)


Before I begin sharing my thoughts and reflecting on a recent article that I came across, again after years of believing that butterflies in your stomach is what determines how much you love your significant other and this can be only achieved through to a boy's heart by taking time to listen to them and validate how much we meant to each other (high school days..).

Take 15mins to read and reflect on "The 36 Questions: On the Way to Love"

Quite a few people have claimed that asking someone these 36 questions will lead you to love..

That got me thinking.. what is love? how do we achieve it? 

1. Do you think that such questions can or do lead to love? Why or why not?


Yes and No, although these questions do evoke a sense of curiosity and playfulness with getting to know someone. It is the quality time spent together, letting yourself be vulnerable that reveals a lot about yourself, and how you relate to others and the world. It feels good to be heard, appreciated and validated.

However, in saying that I do believe that the right questions can bring you closer and help your compatibility and grow your love deeper with your significant other.

These questions, merely is an opportunity to reveal something more to the eye about yourself to someone close and special in your heart.

I believe that nothing leads you to love except a connection you have through shared experiences and romantic attraction. Which leads to self-sacrificing commitment with one another to walk through this life’s journey as one flesh and body.

These common interests and engaging questionnaires can only get you so far, but long deep committed love is self-sacrificing in spite of differences and even wrongs will truly experience what love is.