This time I will be listening

I am finding out that maybe I was wrong

That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone

Stay with me

This is what I need please

Will you sing us a song

And we'll sing it back to you

We could sing our own

But what would it be without you

I am nothing now

And its been so long

Since I've heard a sound

The sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening

Will you sing us a song

And we'll sing it back to you

We could sing our own

But what would it be without you

This heart, it beats

Beats for only you

My heart is yours

You are all that I need.

Please remove all distractions away from me.

I want to know only you.

My heart is yours. 

Kiss me like you want to be loved

Things I want to work on (2018)

Work on being a better self, feeling and knowing I am good enough.

Put my identity on the Lord. I am a child of God. I will put my identity on him. 

Wherever I go, whoever I will be with.. God is there with me every step of the way.

Cry if you need to. Be sad if you want to. But know that HE has you in his hands.

And HE is guiding you to where HE wants you to go. 

Because HE loves you.

HE loves you.

Not anyone else. 

Your Father in Heaven. 

You are HIS creation.

And you will build your identity in HIM.

Adulting

2:00am

"I feel stuck"

Life does move on and people do move on, and if you feel like you're stuck, then its about a matter of perspective as well. 

Because you too are moving on, and growing, but just not in a way that you might have thought. You're growing in your survival, your ability to live in a new culture.. and I remember the huge amounts of sharing you wrote to me about the life lessons you've learnt from the villagers.

And I thought that was so impressive because even though you're in a difficult situation you're still constantly learning and maturing. Because what you're experiencing now and the hardships of being rock bottom is itself so formative to your maturity as a person that you just can't get any other way..

You never succeed in your mentality or positive mindset unless you've had some hardships and struggles and hit rock bottom and have fought your way back to survive and love others with perseverance. This idea that you're not "adulting" because you're not "growing up" as a Sydney based middle class person with rent/house/stability is really silly. 

People like you who are slumming it, learning to survive, cry and use their tears to make themselves stronger, and finding beauty in simple love and care have 10 times the character and fortitude than any of that. So to me.. I really admire what you're going through and you're really really brave. 

You may feel you're stuck because everyone else has moved on, but ask yourself the questions, where have they "moved on" to? Greater purpose in life? Greater meaning? Greater success? Those things are all achieved in the hearts attitude no matter what circumstances you're in.

Everyone has different life stages and challenges, and just because she/he is at that age doesn't mean she/he is going to be happy or successful.

Discontent + Progress = Success and Happiness 

Every persons' character and maturity is different. 

If you don't ever move or take risks in the world because of fear then you'll never move at all because there'll always be something to fear and be paralysed by. But at the same time you also have a mind, you also have discernment and wisdom so you can make good choices in life and reduce the changes of bad choices or unhealthy outcomes. 

I personally think Success is fulfilling the vision of God in your life for the good of others, and is independent from life's comforts and circumstances. If you have a compelling vision of why you feel God has put you here in this world and you persevere in reaching it, then it doesn't matter whether you live in the slums or not, because you know you're fulfilling your purpose, and not other peoples expectations. 

The complexity of the mind

Men Vs Women

So.. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about how different men and women think.

• Emotional Connection

Men: When men open up, they bond romantically with the person they open up with.

Women: When women open up, it's just bonding as friends.

• Multitasking 

Men: A man's mind is like a calculator. It can do complex maths as much as any, but it can only do one equation at one time.

Women: A woman's mind is a computer. It does the same complex calculations, but can do multiple at one time. It has multiple tabs open.

• Listening

Men: Men struggle to listen because their mind is always on a particular goal "I have to something to fix". Why? Because they were made to do one thing at a time. To focus all their energy on one thing. 

Thats why when you get a man to listen to you.. he's already going to think "I need to find the problem in this story and I need to fix it".

It's one track... "Problem --> Solution".

Women: It's all about the story, expressing emotions and experience.

So when females hold an emotional feeling towards their boyfriend.. like "I'm fine" when we're not. Most of the time, all the men hear is "I'm fine". It takes effort for the men to actually go "Wait.. she said it weirdly" but they still don't even know why/what? 

And you know us girls, we never say why. So they go crazy.

We stay mad. They get frustrated.

Haha strange how men and women communicate. 

But here's the best part. 

We hold it in, and be passive aggressive. Or grumpy with him (internally).

Like oh.. i'm not going to reply to him straight away. I'll take 5mins to respond because I'm mad.

In all honestly. Why do we do that? It's not like they're just waiting for us to answer (and 5mins isn't that long either).. they're probably doing their work or socialising with their friends. 

And when we, girls come back a week later and explain to the guys. They've already forgotten!! 

(Hoping to add to this list later.. I have no idea why this fascinates me)

Oh, also I'll add this here so I don't forget. For future inside jokes :)

No chicks, no tricks!

No dudes, no problems!